"Marriage is a triumph of imagination over intelligence."
“Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth.”
“You know what music is - a harmonic connection between all living beings.”
“Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten”.
“I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.”
“Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.”
“Inside of you, there's a fashion model just waiting to throw up.”
“Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.”
“Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.”
“I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.”