Money
“The secret to riches is the same as the secret to comedy - timing.”
“If you lend somebody twenty dollars, and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.”
“Money allows you to be who you truly are.”
"Money is no substitute for anything."
“99% of everything done in the world, good or bad, is done to pay a mortgage. Perhaps the world would be a better place if everyone rented.”
“The only thing worse than a favor is a favor involving money.”
“All publicly traded corporations have been structured, through a series of legal decisions, to have a peculiar and disturbing characteristic. They are required, by law, to place the financial interests of their owners above competing interests. In fact, the corporation is legally bound to put its bottom line ahead of everything else, even the public good.”
“Never trust a guy who fumbles for the check.”
“Lots of money, lots of friends.”