“What do you call the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”
“Most marriages evolve eventually into some form of business relationship.”
“Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature.”
“If you are ever with a girl that is too good for you – marry her.”
“A marriage is not a timeless agreement - it is one day. And each day, it begins anew.”
"The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones."
“We were perfectly happy until we decided to live happily ever after.”
"Marriage is a contract, but to feel love is something else entirely."
“Did you know that the institution of marriage was created when the average person lived to the age of 30?”
“It's sad. Everything they used to love in each other now seems to drive them crazy.”