Humor

“I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.”

“During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.”

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.”

“I’ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

“You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”