"You're so fond of gossip you don't give the truth a chance to put its pants on."
“I find liquor is an essential tool for social lubrication.”
“You know what I find worse than being talked about? Not being talked about at all.”
“Of course we communicate. Now can we not talk about it anymore?”
"People never take their own advice."
“A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.”
“There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth.”
“…Always giving parties to cover the silence.”
"Fifty percent of what people say when they are joking is true."
"Don't use seven words when four will do."