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A Thousand Clowns

“You have to understand that he is a very intelligent man.  Last month, I fell asleep twice while he was talking to me.”
“I want him to know the special thing that he is or else he won’t notice it when it starts to go.”
“Elaine communicates with me almost entirely by rumor.”
“If most things aren't funny then they're only exactly what they are.  Then it’s just one long dental appointment interrupted occasionally by something exciting like waiting or falling asleep.  What’s the point if I leave things just as I find them?  Then I’m just adding to the noise – I’m just taking up some room on the subway.”
“You’ve got to own your own days and name them, every one of them, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you.”
“That’s the most you should expect from life – a really good apology for all the things you won’t get.”
“You are not a person, Mr. Burns, you are an experience.”
“You speak like you write everything down before you say it.”
“You want to be your own boss but the trouble with that is you don’t pay yourself anything.”
“You are a lover of things and of people, so you took up work where you could get at as many of them as possible.  It just turned out there were too many of them and too much that moves you.”
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