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“Life rarely gives us what we want at the moment we consider appropriate.  Adventures do occur but not punctually.”
“If they can't start a meeting without you, well, that's a meeting worth going to, isn't it? And that's the only kind of meeting you should ever concern yourselves with.”
“Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.”

“Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.”
“To have a brain is not a sin but to have a brain and not use it, that is a sin.”
“When it comes to relationships, everyone's a used car salesman.”
Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.”
“Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.”
“I would rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.”
“Before you run out and change the world, ask yourself, "What do you really want?"”
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