“I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say...”Hey! Look at these!"”
“If hate were people, I’d be China.”
“Once you throw sex into the kitty, guys forget their manners.”
"Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts."
“Go and find your smile.”
“The life of the mind – there’s no roadmap for that territory.”
“Well, we're not in the middle of nowhere, but we can see it from here.”
“They say a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, I am that fool!”
“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.”
“I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?"