“I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.”
“I am so sick of people selling their psyches for a little attention.”
“I believe the old theory that everybody does everything in order to get laid.”
“Kids, you got to be yourself. You can’t act like anybody else just because you think they have all the answers and you don’t. You have to be your own man and learn to speak up and say what’s on your mind.”
“The thing about kids is they are instant priorities. You know you have to protect them and provide for them and sometimes that means your life isn’t exactly how you’d want it to be.”
“Don’t worship me until I’ve earned it.”
“I have an interesting case. I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people.”
“Nobody thinks they’re a bad person. I’m not even claiming that people always think they are doing the right thing. They may know they are doing something dishonest or insensitive or manipulative, but they always think there is a good reason for doing it. They almost always that it will turn out for the best in the end, even if it just turns out the best for them.”
“Can I have your autograph, whoever you are?
“A famous writer once said "Reality is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes."