“I don’t know what your problem is but I don’t think you’re going to solve it by trying to solve mine.”
“Do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life?”
“A man writes because he is tormented, because he doubts. He needs to constantly prove to himself and the others that he's worth something.”
“Kids are starving in India and you're walking around with a sombrero full of peanuts.”
"The brain is the most over-rated organ."
"It's just smart people that need to pay attention. The Lord will take care of the ignorant."
"Think of me as a detour on the highway of life."
"Charging a man with murder in this place is like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500."
"My problem is that I'm both attracted and repelled by the male organ."
"What are legends anyway but stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things?"