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“Modern marriage.  Once it was ‘See somebody, get excited, get married’.  Now it’s ‘Read a lot of books, fence with a lot of four syllable words and psychoanalyze each other until you can’t tell the difference between a petting party and a civil service exam.”
“Intelligence.  Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence.”
"We've become a race of Peeping Toms.  What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change."
"Life, every now and then, behaves as though it had seen too many bad movies, when everything fits too well - the beginning, the middle, the end. Fade in, fade out."
“When a fire burns itself out, all you have left is ashes.”
“A script would’ve made so much more sense than life does.”
“Fooling with a strange woman can bring a man a lot of grief.”
“I never met a rich man yet who didn’t think he was loved in spite of his money.”
“A captain’s job is a lonely one.  He’s easily misunderstood.”
“A posse is an animal.  It moves like one and thinks like one.”
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