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“Modern marriage.  Once it was ‘See somebody, get excited, get married’.  Now it’s ‘Read a lot of books, fence with a lot of four syllable words and psychoanalyze each other until you can’t tell the difference between a petting party and a civil service exam.”
“Intelligence.  Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence.”
"We've become a race of Peeping Toms.  What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change."
"Life, every now and then, behaves as though it had seen too many bad movies, when everything fits too well - the beginning, the middle, the end. Fade in, fade out."
“When a fire burns itself out, all you have left is ashes.”
“A script would’ve made so much more sense than life does.”
“Fooling with a strange woman can bring a man a lot of grief.”
“I never met a rich man yet who didn’t think he was loved in spite of his money.”
“A posse is an animal.  It moves like one and thinks like one.”
“A captain’s job is a lonely one.  He’s easily misunderstood.”
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