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COMMUNICATION: "Ninety percent of what you're saying isn't coming out of your mouth."

Movie quote from: Hitch (2005) - Alex Hitchens (Will Smith)

hitchAlex Hitchens (Will Smith) is a date doctor who teaches lovesick men how to hook up with the woman of their dreams.  His basic message is that women want to meet a good man and good men present themselves to women in a certain way.  'Hitch' teaches men how to adjust their persona to become the man she is attracted to. Unfortunately, Hitch doesn't understand there is a much less complicated way to truly get your message across to someone else.

The movie Hitch begins with the title character telling us that, "Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal body language; thirty percent is your tone, so that means ninety percent of what you're saying isn't coming out of your mouth."  He tells us this to explain why men shouldn't believe women when they say they are not interested.  The trick, he says, is to follow his guidance for three dates and let him transform you into the man of her dreams.

Hitch is correct in one sense, most of what we communicate to others is not in our words.  It is in our tone of voice and body messaging.  Try saying, "Like I really want you" three times, once sexy, once sarcastic, and once with a whine in your voice that would make even an old dog howl.  Now say it four more times, this time adjusting parts of your body.  Say it with your eyebrows up and then again with your brows down low.  Say it with a big smile and then with a puzzled look on your face.  I wonder if words provide even ten percent of what we really have to say.

Hitch is completely wrong when he advises people to be someone else to gain another's favor.  A 'pretend you' is not a strong foundation for a long-term relationship.  Maintaining an image eventually proves to be a hollow existence.  I suspect there's more relationships than we care to know that have not lasted because of the false premise on which they were 'hitched'. 

There is an easy way to get your words, your tone, and your body language to communicate precisely the same message - tell the truth.  Be yourself.  This is when you are most likely to shine.  Honest vitality will bring to you people who are attracted to your true character.  You can live a long time with someone who loves the real you.

Check out: a COMMUNICATION article from the movie Babel

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