"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are."
Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)
Josh Myers (Scott Cohen)
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Woody Allen
“Never trust a guy who fumbles for the check.”
"You know, my mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention."
“Tradition is the illusion of permanence.”
“In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.”
“The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”
“Show business is dog-eat-dog. It’s worse than dog-eat-dog, it’s dog-doesn’t-return-other-dog’s-phone-calls.”
“I have an interesting case. I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people.”
“Sex alleviates tension and love causes it.”
“You know what my philosophy of life is? That it's important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.”
“To you, I’m an atheist. To God, I’m the loyal opposition.”
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